"The horse always talks—we just need to listen. Slow down, tune in, and let their body language, breath, and energy guide you. That’s where the magic happens."

The Quiet Conversation

In a world that rewards speed, productivity, and doing, it can feel counterintuitive to slow down. But when it comes to horses, slowing down isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Horses are masters of subtlety. They don’t shout their needs; they whisper them through body language, breath, and energy. The question is: are we listening?

When we approach our horses with the intention to do, fix, or train, we often miss their side of the conversation. But when we show up to listen, we open the door to a relationship built on trust and mutual understanding. This shift from doing to being is where the magic truly begins.

Listening as a Practice

Listening to a horse doesn’t start with our ears—it starts with presence. True listening requires us to quiet our internal chatter and be still enough to sense what’s really happening. That means grounding ourselves, regulating our own nervous systems, and entering the barn or the pasture with the intention to observe, not to direct.

We often think of listening as passive, but it’s deeply active. It takes awareness, sensitivity, and humility. It asks us to let go of ego and agenda, and to meet our horse where they are, not where we want them to be.

Signs we’re not listening:

Pushing through a ride when something feels “off”
Interpreting resistance as disobedience
Overriding small signals like pinned ears or shifting weight
Dismissing changes in energy or posture

When we stop to consider the why behind a behavior, we begin to listen. When we wait for softness instead of demanding it, we listen. Listening is a gift we offer our horses—and in return, they often reveal more than we could ever imagine.

The Language of the Horse

Horses speak through tension and release, breath patterns, facial expressions, and micro-movements. Their communication is embodied—it flows through their fascia, muscles, eyes, and breath.

This language is always present, but it's easy to miss if we're focused on our own agenda. Slowing down allows us to notice the nuance.

Some of their “words” include:

A held breath or shallow breathing
The flick of an ear toward a sound or a person
Tension in the poll or jaw
Shifting weight away from or toward something
A softening eye or tight nostrils

These expressions can tell us if our horse is curious or concerned, comfortable or distressed, engaged or overwhelmed. Each cue is a piece of the puzzle, guiding us to better timing, deeper understanding, and true connection.

When we become fluent in this language, we unlock a deeper level of relationship. We become partners rather than passengers, facilitators rather than enforcers.

The Role of Grounding

Grounding ourselves is not just about being calm—it’s about becoming an energetic anchor for the horse. Horses are incredibly attuned to energy. When we are anxious, distracted, or rushed, they feel it. They may not understand the source, but they sense the dissonance.

Grounding techniques that help us listen better:

Taking slow, deep breaths before entering the horse’s space
Standing still with awareness of your feet and spine
Noticing your own body tension and softening it
Waiting without rushing for the horse to “come online”

Grounding is a form of respect. It says to the horse: "I am here, I am present, and I am ready to listen." When we bring grounded energy into our interactions, we create safety. We give the horse space to express without fear of correction or misunderstanding.

A Personal Story: The Mare Who Taught Me to Listen

There was a mare who changed everything for me. She was sharp, reactive, and difficult by traditional standards. Trainers had labeled her as stubborn or dangerous. But something told me there was more beneath the surface.

Instead of trying to fix her, I started to observe. I noticed she held her breath every time a halter came near. She tightened her jaw when I touched the reins. Her eyes would harden the moment pressure was applied.

So I stopped asking. I started listening.

I spent weeks just sitting near her, breathing, letting her come to me. Slowly, she softened. She began to release tension, to approach with curiosity, to yawn and lick and chew. She started to put more trust in me—not because I trained her to, but because I listened.

That mare became one of my greatest teachers. She taught me that softness isn't something you demand; it's something you invite. And listening is the invitation.

The Balanced Through Movement Method Connection

In the Balanced Through Movement Method (BTMM), this kind of listening is foundational. We don’t push a horse into a frame or movement—we wait for release. We respond to feedback. We prioritize the horse’s nervous system and biomechanics.

Listening in BTMM looks like:

Noticing when a horse is bracing and adjusting your ask
Acknowledging when they need time to process
Waiting for the yawn, the blink, the shift
Letting go of timelines and expectations

This approach honors the horse as a sentient being, not a tool for our goals. It’s a method rooted in respect, patience, and deep listening. And the results speak for themselves: more willing partners, more sound movement, and more joy in the work.

Letting Go of Agenda

Sometimes the most profound sessions with a horse involve no riding, no training, no “progress.” Just being present and letting the horse initiate. These are the moments when trust deepens and magic happens.

Questions to ask yourself instead of “What should I do?”

How is my horse feeling today?
What’s their energy like?
Is there anything they’re trying to tell me?
Can I slow down enough to hear it?

This shift from performance to partnership requires courage. It means being willing to step off the path of what’s expected and step into the unknown of authentic connection.

But the reward is worth it: a horse who feels seen, heard, and safe. A relationship rooted in mutual respect and shared presence. That is the heart of horsemanship.

Practical Tips for Deep Listening

Arrive early and don’t rush grooming or tacking up
Observe your horse’s body before every session
Pause often during groundwork or rides
Release expectations about what the session “should” look like
Journal afterward—what did you notice? What did the horse tell you?

Listening is a skill we can cultivate. The more we practice, the more fluent we become. And the more our horses will trust that they can speak—and be heard.

The Magic Is in the Listening

The horse is always speaking. They’re not waiting for us to fix them, train them, or mold them. They’re waiting for us to listen. When we do, we discover a partnership built on trust, softness, and presence.

That’s where the magic happens—not in perfect movements or obedient responses, but in mutual understanding and quiet connection. Horses are always talking. Let’s slow down so that we can listen to them.

The Horse Always Talks: Learning to Listen Beyond Words